Persevering to reach a life-long dream

Brent De Young drinks tea from a St. Francis Xavier University mug with a shining new X-ring on his finger.

“I’ve waited all my life to wear this ring,” he smiles. “I wear it with a humble heart because of what I had to go through to get it.”

He’s celebrating his graduation from university with a BA in English two decades after he first began his studies.

Right now Brent lives independently in an apartment in Dartmouth supported through Community Services’ Disabilities Support Program.

Back in 1992, the 19-year-old English major was heading into Christmas exams when he realized something was seriously wrong with his health. A professor helped him to withdraw from his courses and he left Antigonish. He spent months suffering from severe depression at his mother’s home in Fall River.

One rainy day he took a walk over to the St. Rose of Lima Church, where he was warmly welcomed by Monseigneur William Wamboldt, known simply as Father Bill to most. He would have a huge influence on Brent’s life.

“I told him my story and we became friends,” said De Young. “He became the dad that I never had.”

It was Father Bill who realized that Brent needed additional support to manage his illness. He identified a psychiatrist in his own parish to take care of him. When Brent was 21, he was diagnosed with schizoaffective mood disorder with psychosis. Later, when he was appointed as pastor in Rockingham, Father Bill invited Brent to live at the church together with other staff.

“I shadowed him and he gave me many tools to live with my illness,” he said. After five years, Father Bill went on sabbatical and moved. He passed away in 2008.

Brent began living with Gail Bannister, who he describes as “my second mom.” Brent often went to the hospital with Gail where she used hands-on reiki with cancer patients.

“I met her in 2007 and she changed my life. She is so positive and hopeful that she taught me to turn my thinking around,” he said.

Gail believed he could finish his degree and her encouragement continued for many years while he hit the books. Brent returned to his studies as a part-time visiting student at Saint Mary’s University. One of his favorite courses involved reading Henry David Thoreau’s Walden; or, Life in the Woods from 1854.

“He taught me about living alone happily and about how to live a self-reliant life,” he recalls. “This was poetry to my ears.”

Brent found SMU’s Atlantic Centre of Support for Students with Disabilities helpful during exam writing. Volunteer Kathleen Holman did everything from cooking him supper to word processing his papers. Eventually, he earned enough credits to complete his interrupted degree at St. Francis Xavier. Early in May, a group of family and friends travelled to convocation in Antigonish.

“My goal is to pay it forward now. I want to pass along my strength to other mental health consumers, maybe become a life coach myself,” he said. “Never give up on yourself or your dreams. If I can do it, you can too. Just because something is not easy, does not make it impossible.”

This particular warm spring day is also his birthday so friends and family are calling to congratulate him.

“Being 42 is great. I have numerous moms and dads – it really is a village that raised me,” he laughs.